For the last few days I haven’t been feeling like myself. Its like I’m suddenly so unmotivated to do anything since nothing is changing fast enough for me. I need new job and new people in my life. But its like I’m losing motivation to seek the things that I know will motivate me.
I know the things I’m asking for will never just walk up to me. Things take time. Change takes time. But I am so impatient.
I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to talk to the same people about the same shit. Deal with the same men who will never give me what I want. Deal with the same dumb people at work. All of it is redundant. Monotonous. Utterly fucking pointless. And it sucks to know the world is so much bigger than my little life. I’m meant for such a bigger life. But I feel stuck. I feel like at this moment, I can’t get out…so my mind has given up on seeking mental stimulation from anything aside from reading….
I’m physically present everywhere, but about 85% of the day, my mind has clocked out.